The 11 Stages of Touring Spouse Separation

Patrick has been gone nearly four months. Wow, that’s hard to fathom. However, his home-coming is upon us!! Still, I have realized that during those months, I went through several stages of coping with his departure. It’s never easy saying goodbye and it’s even harder living day-by-day adjusting to them not being there.

Stage 1: Saying Goodbye

Chances are you are going to put on a happy face when you drop your musician off at the terminal. After all, you have to be supportive. Plus, you are genuinely happy that they get to live their dreams.


Stage 2: the Break Down

But nothing prepared you for the feels when you drove away and they disappeared from your sight.


Stage 3: Settling

The first few weeks, you are getting into a new groove of not having your husband around, and you realize just how un-exciting it is without them.

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A Musician’s #1 Fan Should Always Be Their Spouse


Once upon a time,

More like 4 years ago, I met my husband during college. Here is the thing, many women have this “thing” with musicians. It’s like a stigma that girls fall head over heals for them. I, however, never really imagined myself being being with one. To be fair, I had no idea what I wanted in a man when it came to his profession; I only knew what I wanted in his values and personality. So when I met Patrick it was like he was the peanut butter to my jelly, or maybe I had the peanut butter and he brought the jelly. In either case, once we started dating, I knew that we were going to be inseparable.

So for all of you married, or even dating, a musician, there is that moment in the relationship when you learn of their aspiration and career goals to make it in the cut throat entertainment industry. Perhaps, you thought it was a hobby at first or maybe even something on the side. I can even see the significant other believing it to be  faze that they will grow out of. After all, a musicians work is never secure, and unless they have connections it’s nearly impossible to make a living. However once you realize that they will pursue their musical careers, as  the significant other, you have a choice to stay or leave. Not everyone is cut out to be a musician’s spouse, and it truly is a daunting task.

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